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Don't Say "Don't"
By Linda Miles of Fashion Green T Bags
We often admonish our young children to heed our warnings so that they don't get hurt, dirty, hurt someone else, break something, etc. Did you know that young children, while trying to be attentive and mindful of their rules may INTENTIONALLY do the exact opposite of what they're not supposed to do? As a young child, I was grounded from a summer full of running for the "Popsicle Man" because when my father handed me money and warned, "Don't buy a whole box of Popscicles!" I heard, "Buy a whole box of Popsicles." Delightedly I ran down the street, purchased the treats and headed home happily with a task well accomplished. Imagine my surprise when my father, red-faced and very angry scolded me and banned me from this summer fun for the rest of the summer? "WHAT just happened?" I was truly perplexed. What I didn't know then (and neither did my father) that my error is a very common one with young children. Parents who caution, "Don't ..." can be communicating to their children TO DO the exact opposite of what the parent expects the child to do. It has to do with language processing or how your child understands what is being said. Young children often only pick up the ends of our sentences. They truly don't process the "Don't" part of our sentences so they DO jump in the puddles, hit the other child and so on. For example, if you tell a child, "Don't buy a box of Popsicles," what the child hears is, "BUY a box of Popsicles." The child returns with a box and a parent believes that the child has deliberately disobeyed a directive when in fact, he/she has done what he/she believed WAS the directive. A major key to getting along with our children at any age is important and clear communication is one way to avoid misunderstandings. It's important to know how language and understanding skills develop with your child in order that you can best set him/her up for success and eliminate a lot of frustration for both of you. What is the key for a conscientious parent to counteract this common problem? The answer is simple: Change your speech pattern to tell your child what you DO want him/her to do. "Walk around the puddle." "Stay away from that glass figure." "Leave your sweater on." You'll notice a positive difference in your child's response almost immediately and discover that not only are children eager to please their parents, they're also better able to do so. It's just a matter of language and communication. Give yourself and your child a better chance at success by saying, "DO"!
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Contributor's Note
All of my items are created from used articles of clothing. I use recycled packaging whenever possible.
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The copyright for this content entitled "Don't Say "Don't"" has been specified by the contributor as:
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The copyright for this content has been relinquished by the author. The content may be used freely by anyone.
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